The Ascended Year


 

Daniel swept a stray strand from Sam’s face, causing her to shift in her sleep. He desperately wanted everything to be ok; for her suffering to ease, for her to wake and be ok with a new day that had dawned.

But he knew it would be awhile before she could look at things and be excited about the endless possibilities. A long while.

“The stream flows and takes all toward the destination.”

“Just a moment longer. She will not wake soon,” Daniel pleaded.

“A desperate man clings to rocks in the river.”

“So no more minutes? Is that what you are saying?” Daniel asked as he got up from the side of Sam’s bed. “Are you saying I’m desperate?”

“You feel the need to swim when the current pulls.”

“You have a thing for water, don’t you?”

Oma Desala smiled warmly and touched Daniel’s cheek. “Her path is guided, know that, dear one.”

Nodding, he once more glanced at Sam as she once more shifted and pulled the blankets closer. He wanted more than anything to kiss her hold her but his nonexistent body prevented him and he turned to leave her.

~*~*~*~

Sam moved through the halls of the SGC, not wanting to face the next round of quick missions. Jonas was almost jumping out of his skin at the thought of going to new worlds. For Sam, that excitement died when Daniel ascended no more then two weeks ago.

Moving with years of practice and training, she followed Jack O’Neill’s orders to fan out and scout. Her heart was not in the motions; even the strange devices the villagers offered was not piquing her interest. No, she could do with out the smiles and words.

Her heart quietly beat as she sat back at the SGC in the locker room, wishing for something to make her love life, her job – anything – once more.

A small breath caressed her bare shoulders as she put on her top, making Sam pause.

“Hello?”

Be still.

“Hello? Is anyone here?”

I’m not gone.

Sam, growing furious, whipped around and walked the short hall between the stalls and showers. Seeing no one, feeling nothing, Sam sank to the ground at the end of the showers. Head in hand; she longed to know for sure it was him who was there.

~*~*~*~

“You love her.”

It was a statement that reverberated thought him. Yes he did, had, and would always. Their friendship was immediate; his attraction had been growing even as they searched in vain for his wife. His love bursted through after he was freed from the burdens he had made, but was tainted by the emotions and tension between Jack and Sam.

“Yes I do.” It was a simple statement that reflected everything.

“She will always suffer, and you must not interfere.” Oma came beside him. “Your power is tamed by the rules of those beyond us.”

“And if I can’t continue to look on?”

“There will be choices. I hope it will not have to be made soon.”

~*~*~*~

Nirti had turned her into a DNA lab rat, spreading her genes apart and wishing to fuse them in a way not natural. Sam now lay on her side, longing to have the insides stop rushing around and stay still.

Desperately she tried to fall asleep, but she also did not want to not wake up. It was a dilemma she wished she did not have to face.

Then the Russian died. Petrified, Sam lost the battle of her will to stay awake. Jack held her as she drifted into fit full dreams. Grateful for a brief time to drift, she awoke to find the creatures helping them escape Nirti’s torture chamber.

Happily she collapsed in the hospital bed at the SGC, letting Janet busy herself with their health. Sam just wanted to drift out of her body, and listen to his voice once more.

~*~*~*~

Daniel paused, and once more found he was watching Sam sleep.

“Her power and will are strong.”

“Yes, I know. But that is the outside, look at her eyes, those blue eyes, and her soul, a broken sorrowful soul.”

“She must be left to continue.”

“A stream thing?”

Nodding Oma tried once more to guide Daniel from Sam, but did not succeed.

“I will help. She will not live with out the love she needs. They all need me there; I can’t do any thing here with my hands tied. I don’t operate that way.”

“Yes I see that. I feared you would not like all the rules. I had hoped you would be among us longer. But you are right.”

Daniel eyed Oma. “You guessed this would not last?”

“You are a tree who has grown not in the dessert. The green grass is the evidence of the thirst; the sand is death.”

“Okay. Sounds right to me, I guess,” Daniel shrugged and went back to watching Sam.

“You need them – that is the grass. We are the sand. You can live only so long with out water before you shrivel up and die.”

“So will I be able to hold her? Make the hole close? Have the tears stop?”

“You question the future of the unknown.”

“Ya Jack would say something like that,” Daniel smiled as Sam gave a short laughter in her sleep. “Can I have a few moments?”

Oma left, giving him his answer. He once more knelt beside her bed.

~*~*~*~

Sam laughed as she suddenly found a new way of approaching the problem that was scattered in tiny pieces before her.

She leaned back as she surveyed the puzzle before her. Drinking some more coffee, she played thoughtfully with the pieces. Finally she squinted as they stopped fitting together easily.

Sam, oh Sam. Stop trying to figure it all out. Just let yourself go.

“And fall? Be helpless? I think not,” Sam said softly, snorting.

Daniel was more taken aback by the response, rather than that Sam responded. Maybe you need to just fall.

“With out a safety net. Right.” Sam said as she frustrated placed the pieces on the table. “Like the Colonel would understand. Teal’c cares and tries. And Jonas? He is so green it’s scary he is still on the team. No you are not here, and I’m talking to myself. And it will be that way until you decide the,” Sam paused, “the glowy life is not for you.”

I already know that.

“Right,“ Sam snorted as she left her lab. Daniel knew better then follow. He felt her anger, confusion and the ache that drove her to cry every night until she fell asleep.

~*~*~*~

Now, he reflected back on the year he has spent watching her. Sam snuggled deeper into the sheets.

“I can’t leave her.”

“You will be there soon. You will face many decisions, some I will stop you from if I must, and others I will not.”

“Will I be able to help her get over what has happened in the past year?”

“In time she may smile. All suns shine, even in the dark.”

“She needs to smile. This year has been too long, too much.”

“For you or her?”

“Both I suppose.”

“Daniel.”

“Okay, Just let me make sure she has a great day.”

Oma looked away distracted by the distance, silently knowing Daniel would have his wish. “You must go and tell Jack O’Neill of the new problem.”

He glanced at Oma, it hit him what she meant. Seeing Oma’s eyes, he understood that indeed today would be his to choose. Abydos was in trouble and that was on thing he could not sand by and let happen.

Giving Sam’s face one more brush, he whispered, “I’ll be the one to chase the dark away. Come smiling to me, I will heal your heart.”

With one last breeze, Daniel left Sam’s bedroom and went to tell Jack of their next mission