||I knew telling Jack that our dinner plates and condiments were still outside, may not have worked - we had cleaned up fairly well - but I wanted an excuse to just be outside. Honestly if I would have told him I wanted to sit on the dock and watch the stars he may have thought I was crazy. Maybe not, since he does it from a rooftop. Oh well.
I cleaned the table, stacking whatever was left, mostly soda cans, into the trash and placing it beside the front door, and then headed out to the dock and its two seats.
I was momentarily startled when I saw another head poking up from the chairs. I stopped, weighing my options, but when the moon broke free from the clouds, I saw it bounce off blonde hair, making it belong to only one person.
My heart almost exploded with joy. I was afraid to ask her to come out when we were cleaning up our files, and then did not see her after everyone wondered to bed. I guess I should have known she was out here.
I watched as she settled into the chair, legs propped up on the ice chest in front of her, and a pillow cushioning her head. She was beautiful in her long night pants and as she stretched her arms to hug the back of the chair, I saw she must have on a sleeveless top, showing off her well-defined arms. I momentarily thanked Jack for suggesting we all go up to the cabin. Cassie was a nice distraction, and I wondered the whole way up if she knew.
After the day in the park as we said good-bye she whispered "so glad" into my ear. Her eyes twinkled in a way... I left it since she has been around us long enough to know that what we had, have, been doing is not exactly within regulations. But then again, if Jack had his way a few years ago, he would be standing here and not me.
I shudder at the thought.
Sam sighed, bringing my attention fully to her once more. The air was cool and a breeze picked up once and a while, bringing the smell of the lake toward us. It also did wonderful things to Sam's hair. It ruffled, and then settled back, making it look a bit disheveled. She would run her long fingers through them to make it go back into place, but overall left it along.
"Are you going to have a running conversation in your head only, Doctor Jackson?"
Sam knew I was there. Always. A reason I loved to just stand in her door and watch her work. She would sometimes look up and answer a question I was thinking, voicing out loud that she knew I was there, and knew what I was thinking. It was not entirely one sided; I caught her doing the same thing when I am in my office.
"I like the running conversation, Doctor Carter," I said as I came around to the free chair. "However I like the out loud variety even better."
I reached for her hand and intertwined our fingers. She momentarily tensed, reminding me that she was always a soldier, but soon relaxed as I ran little circles on the back of her hand. She turned her blue eyes toward me and smiled.
"They have their place." Sam moved her head, facing me fully. "So..."
"So..." I said back. Meeting her smile, I slumped further into the chair, bringing our hands to a comfortable distance between us. I always liked the physical contact Sam and I have been able to effortlessly share - the hugs, light kisses, the shoulders brushing - but they also made me fully alert to her feminine side and my attraction to her. But now that we both have stated where we stand on the issue, her hand in mine feels right once more.
"I think Cassie knows," Sam said slowly and quietly.
"Ya, I think so. I think she may have found us out the other day at the park," I said, turning toward her. "But she is a smart kid, she knows how to keep things to her self."
Sam nodded and gazed across the lake. The moon casting a glow around her features and making her look like she was glowing. She could be a goddess in another time dimension. I know she is close to being mine here.
A few minutes later of silence and we got up and moved back to the cabin. Sam carried her blanket and pillow, while I wrapped my arm around her waist, desperate to keep her close to me.
We had a quick kiss under the tree near the cabins door, deep in the shadows, just incase curious eyes would be peaking out. Whispering goodnight, I entered the master bedroom that Jack, Teal'c and I shared. Jack was already snoring softly, while Teal'c lay straight on the cot beside the closet doors, and I moved to the other side, closest to the window that over looked the lake. I thought it was very fitting.
As I pulled the light sheet over my body, I wished of the thousandth time that things could be different; Sam and I together, having a family, being a family. But if all that would happen, then would we be the people we are today? I don't think so. Everything has a cause and effect, effect and cause. Remove one piece of the puzzle and the picture changes.
Wow, now I am thinking like Sam!
I smile into the darkness and let my eyes drift close, as my dream life took over.