Just Wish I knew


Daniel hunched over his desk, raking his fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes briefly, only to see flames flare in his head.

“It is something I worry about, Sam,” he said once more turning to the web cam and screen.

Sam was turning toward her cam as he was commenting on the latest adventure he had, checking reports coming in from the radars. “I wish there was a way to figure out if they even knew you had taken over their minds. But we all know Stargate’s unstable activation destroys everything completely,” she looked up to see Daniel rubbing his temples. “I’m sorry that I can’t just beam down there.”

“Be glad, Vala may come out and fight you,” Daniel said snorting. Vala had irritated him months ago when they had first met, and her coming to the SGC under false pretenses had not made her any more tolerable. She was feisty and willing to go the extra few miles to make her claim on anything known. “I’m just glad she is gone, leaving me alone.”

“Did you talk to the General about it?”

“You know that Jack was here?” Daniel asked, changing back to the original subject quickly.

“Teal’c. He told me.”

“Oh,” Daniel sighed. Shaking his head, he told Sam what Jack had said when ever he even brought the subject up.

“Hmm what was I thinking?” Sam asked as she listened. “I’m sorry. He has not been helpful in the past few weeks. I call his office and get his secretary. I need to know if these samples are signed off on. We can’t just hand them back – they want proof we looked at them.”

Daniel smiled weakly. He watched as Sam moved off screen and talked to someone. Daniel wished the cup of coffee on her desk were within reach. He desperately wanted to share the cup. Sam had always been the one he could unwind with and ask his serious questions to.

He had asked Teal’c, on his way back to the Jaffa Nation’s meetings, but had not gotten much out of him either. And Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell was still so new he would be clueless. Which left him once more with Sam. And she was stuck in Area 51, taking care of Cassie as she trekked across the desert training for the New York Marathon. The girl never ceased to amaze Daniel.

“Hey, Earth to Daniel,” Sam said gently as she imitated knocking on the monitor.

“Ah, yes. Hello. Sorry.” Running his hands through his hair once more he looked at the woman who sat in front of him, miles away.

“I see you have taken the beard seriously,” she said, changing the topic.

“Yes, I think it shocked Jack when he came, he made a comment about the razor being an important tool.”

“Well isn’t he the kind and concerned one? I like it, makes you look distinguished, not that you… oh why am I backpedaling? I like it.” Sam giggled as she shook her head. Looking sharply to her right she held up a finger and cut her eyes back toward the web cam. “One moment please.”

Daniel smiled and mindlessly scratched at said beard. He had threatened many times to do it. Jack would stand beside him every time it looked more then a 5o’clock shadow forming. He flipped one of the files open as he glanced at the empty screen. He found it odd that it felt empty with out her there too.

They had made a habit of contacting each other whenever they could, making sure to update in between via email. He was not sure what they would have done if he had actually been able to make it to the Daedalus and off to Atlantis. Part of him hated Vala and Mitchell for their interruption, but as he talked to Sam briefly before the first adventure, and he was calmer about it. But then the stones that transported him and Vala into the bodies of two resistant fighters… shaking his head he picked up a pen and began to lightly tap it.

He did not notice Sam sitting on her end and watching him until she pushed the button they had programmed to sound like a doorbell. She suppressed a wide smile as Daniel yanked up his head and jumped back, clearly startled.

“Sam,” he said in a dark voice, sending a small shiver down her back.

“Daniel,” she said. “I wanted to complete our conversation.”

“I’ll be ok.”

“No, talk.”

“Sam…”

“Daniel…”

They stared at one another, a very familiar stance between the two. It usually ended in them both talking at once. As they sat there, Daniel ended the stand off by breaking into a grin.

“You have a way about you ColonelDoctor Carter,” he said wagging his finger playfully. “Ya it is bothering me a lot. I should have known Jack would have given a sarcastic reply. I mean, it is Jack.”

“At least he tried,” Sam said as she leaned on her elbows and looked at Daniel.

“Don’t try to defend him.”

Sitting back she shook her head. “No I am not. I’m saying he tried to understand. He has never been good with the whole touchy –feely… but eating is what he can do. I’m just saying him being there was his way of understanding.”

“It would be a first,” Daniel said sarcastically. He sighed and glanced back to the file that was sitting in fount of him. Taking the pen once more he tapped and continued. “I must admit, it was fascinating to be in a body of someone who lived hundreds of light years away. I mean it was with the help of technology – again – but it was fascinating. I guess this time they were not controlling me either. Which makes me believe we killed them.”

“Daniel, these Priors – the Ori – don’t sound like the were that interested in the people anyway. They wanted devotion, complete, and utter devotion. If one less person who did not support their cause is dead, it is okay with them.”

“But it’s not ok with me!” Daniel said leaning back in his chair and rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes.

“What are you going to do – what could you have done? Daniel, there was nothing you could do. Colonel Mitchell and Teal’c were doing the only option they saw they had.” Sam paused and waited for Daniel to lift his head back up. “And I for one am very grateful. I don’t think I could have taken a call saying you were gone again.”

Smiling weakly Daniel nodded. “I know. God Sam we were so close to the flames, it was so hot, so real. It was real. I saw Vala die before my eyes the first time. To see her like a charred...” He closed his eyes once more. “It just makes me wonder if they felt we were doing the best we could. To the village we were Harrid and Sallis – their friends and family. But they were not there.”

They fell silent once more.

“I did not even feel them when Vala and I were yanked back to our bodies. I can only hope they realized they died free… in the name, for the sake, of their cause,” Daniel said searching the familiar blue eyes on his screen. “I just wish I knew.”

“I know. It’s what makes you such a great guy,” Sam said, her eyes sparkling. “Hey noticed you don’t have your accessory piece.”

“Oh God, you have been talking to Jack too much!”

“Actually it was Teal’c who told me. And don’t tell him, but he used ‘accessory piece,’” Sam said making quotes. “Dang, this algorithm is giving me problems again. I’ll call you later?”

“We can have dinner over the phone. How does Chinese sound?”

“Delightful! I’ll talk to you later. And Daniel?”

“Ya.”

“Give yourself a hug for me. If I’m crossing that way I will give you the real thing. I’m glad your alright, it really scared me when Teal’c said that you had gone into a coma,” Sam said notching her chin up, quelling the tremble she felt inside.

Daniel did a quick self-hug. “I’ll be cashing in with interest when you come back. No ‘crossing that way’ stuff. I’m sure there will be some big disaster that will require your physical help.”

“Count on it. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye.” Daniel did a quick keystroke and watched the black web cam screen. He sat there for a moment until he heard a loud crash and cruse. Sighing he watched as Vala and a SF came running into the room.

“Daniel help, this man is trying to ravish me!” Vala said in mock horror.

The only one who was in horror was the poor SF who Daniel dismissed quickly. He rolled his eyes and lay down his head, wishing in the deepest part of his soul that Vala had not been resurrected.